Less of a Heart
by Pretentious Latin Name
Summary: Harry wants Voldemort to read a weird book with language that isn't even English! Look at the section before leaving reviews. Yes, the characters actually speak like that. Yes, there will be child-inappropiate scenes and some minor changes and OOCness.


_The summary said: "Draco and Hermione have sex". You clicked on it. You wanted to read it. Think about that for a while._

_I edited it so it would fit the guidelines. Also, guys? IT'S IN THE PARODY SECTION!_

"hey I watned to read some hot dramione sex and you tric,ekd me" said Lucius.

"Stfu mon. there is roms ereal pr0n on the interzesb", said Voldemort.

I luv u", said Bellatrix.

"u are what ewe wow players call a noob", said Voldemort.

"(L)" said Bellatrix.

"fakk" said Voldemort.

Suddenly, the ghost of Harry Potter appeared in the shallow evening. Voldemort stared at the ghost with wide open eyes.

"wtf are u already dead but then whatbour the prohecy and evertiyghn?" said Voldemort.

"Shut up Tom. I have something for you." said Harry

Harry gave Voldemort a book. The book was black with strange things on it. A yellow skull, two pink strawberries, a green cellphone, an orange and red letters that spelled out a word Voldemort had never heard of before.

"Yes it's a book dumbass. I want you to read it and really think about what it says to you. Snape, the viewers are tired of your whining so please stay out of it. Now, Tommy: open the book."

"mm i'm not a wnerfdx so I cant read okay mon" said Voldemort

Harry let out a long, slightly withdrawn sigh.

"then I will read it for you, you lazy hippopotamus. "_Duo viri adstiterunt ex nusquam paucis passibus secreto anguste moonlit tellus. Nam secunda et immobiles perman serunt, virgis, quae ad arcis alter alterius tunc cognovit se mutuo sub virgis eorum angustius palliis impiger coepi ambulans in directum_." said Harry

"dude I dont know how tiops eapeak french so can you please rewad in t in engelish like normal pelaese" said Voldemort.

"It doesn't matter, you should be able to understand if you just listen carefully. "_'Novi?' altior quaeritur ex his. 'Optima' inquit Septimius Severus._" said Harry.

Severus was crying"T-that's my name...!"

"tfu emo boy continue potter with the fsMN story" said Voldemort.

"_Vico vicina est sinistrum silvestris low-crescentes vepres, dextra alti manicured eleganter sepe. __Longa et hominum circum vestimenta suras falpped incedebant. Cogitationem nuper essem, dictum __Yaxzley eius in lapsu features obtusa et quasi ab oculis ramorum arborum imminentium fregit lunam. «Quod paulo trickier opinione mea. Spero autem saturabuntur. Increpueris receptionem tuam confidere melius erit?_" said Harry

"id u say ayaxley" said Yaxley.

"Shut up Yaxley, I'm trying to _read _something here! Maybe you should consider reading it instead if my reading doesn't work for you." said Harry

"fak" said Yaxley.

"_Septimius adnuit et non exquisitis. Ius revertebantur in latitudinem gestationem off interrogavérunt tellus. Sepe alta curvam eos in cursum interuallo super infigo par-facta portas ferreas hominum citra modum. Utrisque fregit step: et resurrexit taciti sinistris peti quodam salutant directum transiens velut aes tenebris sunt fumo."_

"whohe fak is septimius ofr whatever you called hinm?" said Voldemort.

"I'm going to ignore what you just said Tom, because it was completely free from intelligence. Congratulations, your stupidity is beyond me." said Harry.

"yay" said Voldemort.

"_Adopertus sepes taxi sono hominum vestigia. Crepitabat erat ius alicubi: virga stricto Jäkele iterum super cuspis socium caput autem vox principium probantur esse nisi candidum Pavo strutting per summam túmido de sepe_." said Harry

"wtf is this" said Harry.

"I'm afraid that that was the end of the first page. Who wants to continue to read?" said Harry

Severus whiletrying to fight tears whispered"D-don't ask me to..."

"oob reaed it" said Voldemort.

"I will read it so our Master will agree to marry me!" said Bellatrix.

"nooooo don't read it", said Voldemort.

Harry said:

"Fine then, I will choose someone to read it! The one I choose is..."


End file.
